


so close (and still so far)

by RottenKidNextDoor (PortalofWords)



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, Dancing, M/M, Pining, inspired by enchanted, jay is in love with carlos de vil, jay realizes his feelings just a little too late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 00:02:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21109370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PortalofWords/pseuds/RottenKidNextDoor
Summary: "a thief at heart, a thief by vocation; jay knew he was good at stealing things. but the one thing - the one person - that jay couldn’t steal for good happened to be the one he wanted most of all."orjay and carlos share a dance at cotillion, and just for a moment, things are okay.





	so close (and still so far)

**Author's Note:**

> ahaha! i promise i'll get another longfic up soon, but in the meantime, have this little angsty one-shot :)

Jay decided that, even with Uma’s appearance and the giant-octopus-dragon showdown, Cotillion was alright. 

It couldn’t compare to the nightly ragers he’d attended back on the island - not by a longshot - but he’d swiped some food from the buffet table, watched his leader turn into a pretty kickass dragon, and was now safely chilling on the upper deck, so Jay supposed it could be worse. The other three looked especially good tonight - despite being drenched by sea water. Jay’s eyes fell on Carlos, who was conversing with Jane across the ship deck, and grinned - because there really was nothing prettier than a water-soaked Carlos de Vil. 

“The music’s alright tonight,” Lonnie commented on his left, and Jay nearly started. He had almost completely forgotten about her. “Sometimes, they never get past the classical stuff.” 

Jay winced. He would never _ ever _listen to classical music by choice at all, let alone during a party. “Yikes.” 

“You wanna dance?” Lonnie extended her hand. 

Jay enjoyed her company. She wasn’t as intolerable as some of the other princes and princesses that couldn’t stand to break a nail or hear the word “fuck.” Lonnie had warriors’ blood - heroic as it might be - and he respected that. So he accepted her invitation, letting her guide him out onto the dance floor. His reputation wouldn’t be smeared by a little dancing so long as he didn’t take it too seriously. 

A few songs into it, and they somehow found their way all the way across the floor. Jane and Carlos weren’t far away now, awkwardly trying to find their rhythm as a pair. Jane’s movements weren’t terrible, but unfortunately for her, Carlos could outshine just about anyone on the dance floor - and he was doing just that. Even Jay got distracted for a moment watching him, hooting in his direction as Carlos showed off a little. Jay thought he saw the boy’s ears turn a bit red and grinned; so rarely did Carlos get the chance to actually be appreciated and praised. Jay made a mental note to do it more often. 

“You wanna switch partners for the next song?” he asked Lonnie suddenly, jerking his head towards Jane and Carlos. He knew Lonnie and Jane were friends; they probably wouldn’t mind sharing a quick dance.

“Sure.” Lonnie gave him a quick, strange look, but Jay didn’t have time to dissect it. He was too busy tapping Jane on the shoulder and asking to switch. She agreed with a smile, clasping her hands together in that earnest way of hers. 

“Oh, how cute,” she laughed. “A bromance.” 

Jay just threw her a grin and shrugged, extending his hand to Carlos. “Your freckledness?" 

“Shut up,” Carlos rolled his eyes, but took his hand anyway. They goofed around to the upbeat melody playing for a moment, but as the notes dwindled away, it was replaced with a much slower song - one that had all the starry-eyed couples around the deck pairing up and getting close.

Without thinking, Jay pulled Carlos in with a grin. He moved towards him, lowering his voice in a mock-seductive tone. “‘Los?” 

“Mmm?” If he wasn’t mistaken, Carlos’ eyes fluttered a little.

Jay leaned closer conspiratorially. “I definitely wasn’t paying attention to those ballroom dancing lessons Fairy Godmother gave us.” 

Looking up at him, Carlos laughed and punched his arm. “I hate you.” He grabbed one of Jay’s hands and positioned it on his waist. “I think… this one goes here. And I take your other hand like this.” He grabbed it gently, adjusting it until it rested comfortably in his. “There. That seems right.”

“Does this make me the leader or the follower?” Jay had no use for fancy ballroom skills; there were too many weird, stiff rules. In his book, the only dancing worth participating in required partners to be _a lot_ closer than a few inches apart.

“I don’t know,” Carlos whispered with another laugh. “Just go with it.” 

The song continued, and the boys fell into step with the other couples, rocking back and forth pretty smoothly for two villain boys who’d never had the privilege (or misfortune) to attend extensive dancing lessons like the rest of the Auradon students onboard. 

Jay had absolutely despised the one class they’d had with Fairy Godmother in the school ballroom one stuffy afternoon. She’d made them dance with “volunteer assistants” (even though he suspected the advanced dance class students hadn’t been quite as willing to help out as she made it sound) and every movement had been awkward and uncomfortable. The steps never made sense, and he’d been so caught up in trying to steal his partner’s earrings that he’d mostly tuned out all of the headmistress’ not-so-helpful tips. He did remember her saying one thing, though - about how when the dance was “right”, he’d _ feel it. _

“You’ll just get swept up in the music,” Fairy Godmother had said dramatically. “And in your partner’s movements. You will move as one across the floor in perfect harmony.”

He really hadn’t given a damn that afternoon, rolling his eyes and elbowing Carlos who looked equally bored. But now, dancing with Carlos on the deck, Jay wondered if maybe _ this _ was the sort of thing Fairy Godmother had been talking about. They weren’t _ gliding _necessarily, but Jay had stopped focusing on each step. He was too busy staring at Carlos’ bright eyes and damp hair, still sticking to his freckled forehead. He looked healthier than Jay had ever seen him, with the color in his cheeks and his figure no longer skeletal. 

“What?” Carlos’ voice was soft, barely audible among the gentle swelling of the song. 

“Huh?” Jay tried to snap back into attention, to pull himself out of the dream-like trance he’d fallen into. 

“You’re… staring.” 

“Oh.” Jay kept his eyes on him, their bodies drifting closer. “I didn’t notice.” 

Their feet barely touched the surface of the deck, always moving, drifting from spot to spot. Jay was acutely aware of Carlos’ one hand rested on his shoulder, anchoring him the moment; it seemed as if it might be the only thing keeping him from floating away entirely. Jay kept his hand on Carlos’ back, the thrum of energy sparking gently up and down his arm between them as their other hands clasped, connected and warm. 

The crowds and the noise and even the sea faded into the background as they went. It was just Carlos; only Carlos. His entire world spun and disappeared around him, so that the dim lights high above and the stars even higher illuminated his face in a silver sort of haze. 

_ It, _ Jay’s mind whispered. _ I feel it. _

He didn’t necessarily know what _ it _ was - a feeling, a spark, a trance. But it was slow and languid and lovely - a word Jay usually steered clear of. “Lovely” described princes and princesses and fairytales that ended happily ever after. Villains didn’t _ get _happily ever afters; villains didn’t get happiness to begin with, either. 

But this, this felt like happiness - if he had to put a name to the feeling, the emotion. 

_ Happiness, _ he mused, almost breathless from the realization. _ If this is happiness, I don’t know why anyone would ever want to destroy it. _

Carlos’ pink lips were parted slightly, his eyes trained on Jay’s so fully, so completely. They were bright, the millions of layers and hurt there that so few people could really see. Carlos hid it well, but sometimes, in the dark, it was possible to see the pain there. Jay had gotten especially good at finding it. Tonight, though, he hardly had to search. The brown eyes stared at him, wide and trusting, sparkling with years of doubt and hatred and fear that only the island could breed. But there was something else there, too, - besides the emptiness and hurt - something warm and glassy and _ soft. _

If someone told Jay he’d just downed a bottle of hard cider, he wouldn’t have argued. There was a rare flush beginning in his cheeks and neck, mirrored back at him by Carlos’. The glowing, fluttery feeling in his chest and gut could’ve been attributed to the alcohol - a particularly strong dose, a good brew. But he had no drinks to blame this on, no explanation for this sudden warmth. 

_ Look at that, _ the voice in his brain continued. _ You’ve finally gone soft. _

Carlos’ gaze was still completely focused on him, still allowing Jay to be absorbed into his light. 

_ Not light, _ Jay reminded himself. _ Not light, not dark. Just both. Just Carlos. _

The song continued all around them, drawing their bodies closer and their hands tighter until Jay could feel Carlos’ warm breath on his face. It smelled minty, and he vaguely wondered if Carlos had been planning to kiss someone tonight. 

Kissing Carlos wasn’t a new idea necessarily. Jay had thought about it before; when the cold clanging of the island pipes matched the labored breathing of the boy sitting closest to him; when the sheets ended up on the floor and a shirtless Carlos crawled into bed with him - wordless after a nightmare; and maybe even random moments, when they were just sitting or standing or talking or - 

_ I think - _ Jay realized, the rush of an epiphany washing over him, _ I think… I might love him. _

The simultaneous weight and weightlessness that suspended all train of thought for a moment was overwhelming. Somehow, Jay’s feet kept moving, though perhaps Carlos was owed the credit for sending them along, for leading them (because he’d never been a weak link, not really, always so strong, so quietly firm and sound - Jay’s rock). He leaned forward some, his nose nearly brushing the other boy’s as they hovered there, still spinning, still letting the music move them across the boat deck. He could feel the pulsing in his head and his neck, the heat radiating off Carlos’ lips - only centimeters away - and then - 

“Can I cut in?” 

Those lips moved away, and Carlos’ hand released from his as Jay’s world expanded slightly. The scene around them came back to life, and suddenly, Jane was standing there, looking a little less playful than before. 

Jay’s mind was reeling, still heavy with emotions that he’d grown so used to pushing away. He watched Jane survey them both, watched Carlos offer her a gentle, affectionate smile and somehow found the wherewithal to nod. 

“Yeah, yeah! Sure.” Jay shot the girl a grin. “Thanks for, you know, letting me borrow him for a second.” 

Jane smiled some, taking Carlos’ hand and leading him away - back into the crowd, back into the real world. Carlos turned and looked over his shoulder, his eyes meeting Jay’s again for just a moment. 

_ Not borrow, _ Jay corrected, standing there - frozen - among the other dancing couples. _ Steal. I stole him. _

A thief at heart, a thief by vocation; Jay knew he was good at stealing things. He stole little things, like bottle caps and silverware, and he stole big things, too - like diamonds and cider and tiaras and gold. He dripped with honey and sex and charm - his fingers coated in the stuff - latching onto anything with a shine. Perhaps that’s why Carlos had been his for a moment; perhaps that’s why he’d stolen him. The freckled boy had been bright: his eyes, the water droplets in his hair, the way he’d smiled so beautifully, so honestly at him right there. 

_ You stole him, but you don’t get to keep him. That’s not yours. You don’t get to have him. You stole him for a moment, not forever. _

The one thing, the one person that Jay couldn’t steal for good happened to be the one he wanted most of all. 

_ Take things, break hearts, kiss everyone, love no one, steal it all, don't go soft. _

And as Jay stood there, alone among the whirling skirts and couples, he thought he might finally understand why someone would rage against happiness; why their parents wished to destroy it, to shatter it, to watch everyone else's happily ever afters go up in flames. 

_ Remember the golden rule, _ came his father's whisper. Jay had heard the rule a thousand times, written in on every scrap of paper - on every crumbling wall. _The one with the gold makes the rules. _

_ Well, he’s silver, and suddenly, I’m breaking all of mine. _

**Author's Note:**

> you can come find me (and maybe yell at me for that ending) on tumblr. i'm @unapolgeticallyjaylos :)


End file.
